


Something Crazy

by Cat_Moon



Category: Moonlight (TV)
Genre: F/M, Not Canon Compliant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-12
Updated: 2019-07-12
Packaged: 2020-06-27 00:58:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,652
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19779973
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cat_Moon/pseuds/Cat_Moon
Summary: Their attraction for each other is something crazy.





	Something Crazy

**Author's Note:**

> Written in 2008, originally posted to the ML boards.

Beth’s with Josh tonight. That’s the way it should be, really. She’s human, he’s human. He’s a good guy, I can’t really fault him although I almost wish I could. That’s just the bitterness talking. If she was with me… god, I’d give anything for her to be with me. But vampires don’t get happily ever after. The knowledge hurts so much sometimes, I don’t think I’ll be able to stand it another minute. And then I see her smiling at me, and I know I can and will. I’ll be her friend, her protector, the guardian angel she thinks I am. I’ll watch over her the same way I’ve done these past twenty six years. So if it’s harder now, so what? Does a murderer and a stalker deserve any mercy? I’m lucky to have what I do with her. When the flesh is weak, she looks at me with that…that trust in her eyes, and it gives me the strength I need to be strong. I could never live with myself if I did any less. It’s just that sometimes, on nights like this, I don’t know how I’ll live with myself if I do.

XXX

I think about Mick, more than I should I know. He haunts my dreams, and when I’m awake I can’t wait for an excuse to see him again. Then I push it all down, plaster on a smile for Josh. Pretend what I feel for Mick is just friendship. How could it be more? How could it not be more… I feel so safe with him. I’d feel even safer if I could be in his arms, and he’d never let go. I know he feels it too, I know he does. Sometimes though, I can’t help wondering if it’s my imagination. He’s almost cold sometimes, holding me at arms’ length as if it’s not a struggle at all, not the way I struggle every single day. Always the perfect gentleman, never a slip up. Even when I was high on B.C., wearing my sexiest dress and trying to push all his buttons, he had no trouble resisting me. Great boost for the ego, there. What kind of saint would the man have to be, if he felt what I think he does and it was so easy for him to push me away? I want to be close to him. I want to breathe him in, to crawl inside of him and never come out. I long for it sometimes so bad, I think I’ll do something crazy. And then I think, he’ll only reject me again. I don’t know how I’d live with myself if he did.

XXX

The knock at the door takes me by surprise, but I know who it is without looking. All my senses have instantly come alive, registering the visitor with my entire being in a way that’s almost frightening. What have I done, how have I done this? This connection between us, the way she’s imprinted on my very soul. Is it my fault? I can’t blame it on the feeding, it was there before then. Is it destiny? My common sense quickly deserts me for parts unknown, now I’m thinking about fate and happily ever afters. How could something that feels so right be so wrong? I don’t understand. I’m confused as I answer the door. Open it for her.

“Beth… what are you doing here?”

“Something crazy,” she says.

XXX

All I can do is stare at her. What does she mean? What’s she talking about? She looks frightened, desperate, determined. She confuses me as much as I confuse myself.

“Something wonderful.”

“Is something wrong?” I ask. Something must be horribly wrong. I’m off balance like I can never remember being before. I wish she would put me at ease, take this feeling away. I sense she could do it – but I don’t think she will.

“Yes. No. I don’t know. Maybe.” My mouth opens but I don’t get to speak, because the next thing I know her arms are wrapped around me, like that first night, when I saved her from the psycho TA.

“Tell me,” I whisper, terrified she will.

And she does. “I want to breathe you in. I want to crawl inside you and never come out. Can you give me that?” Her words are muffled against my chest, but I hear them scream inside my head.

Shock has robbed me of my brain cells. All I can do is feel. And what I feel obliterates me. “I…you…we…”

Her heartbeat is inside of me now, pounding through my blood, my whole body shaking with it. I feel like I can’t breathe. My arms tighten around her like steel bars. I won’t be able to let go now, ever.

“I can’t…” I murmur, trying to apologize, for not being strong enough. For my weakness.

She sobs once, a sound of defeat that hurts me more than a stake through the heart ever could.

“I can’t…let you go,” I say.

It rises up through her then, I can feel that too. Hope, wild elation, growing like one of our uncontrollable California forest fires. It burns through me too, leaving only one thing surviving in its wake. The battle is over, defeat, the sweetest thing I’ve ever felt.

“Don’t…” she whispers, and for one brutal moment I wonder if she’s changed her mind, if I’ve scared her off. “Don’t let me go.”

“I can’t,” I repeat. And I wonder, if both of us are about to do something crazy.

XXX

His arms are strong around me, solid. They’re my whole world. He is the air I breathe now, I have no need for oxygen. Tears of relief sting my eyes, I’ve found the right words, he’s not pushing me away. Instead, I feel him pull me impossibly closer, as if we could meld into one person. Finally…there’s no space between us. I can feel his desire in the body pressed so intimately against mine, and think I might faint. I struggle not to, knowing if I did it may frighten him, he might pull away again. He’s my delicate flower, I have to be careful not to scare him off again. If I don’t get it right this time, I think it would kill me. I don’t know what this is between us, I don’t understand it. I’ve never felt like this before, but I can’t – I won’t – go another second without him. I can’t stand of thought of ever giving him up, of relinquishing him to anyone else. It’s not a new feeling. That should surprise me, we’ve only known each other a few months. It doesn’t. Because it’s a lie. We’ve known each other forever. I was his the day he saved me. And he was mine. I feel like the blood is boiling in my veins. Alarming, that I’m not alarmed. I’d stake a thousand Coralines if I had to. Because he belongs to me.

“You’re mine,” I growl fiercely. “You’re mine. Mine.”

The steel gives way abruptly and his weight sags against me in surrender. I can hold him up, I’m strong enough.

“Beth…” It’s a broken sigh, but he can’t deny me any longer. Because I’m right. And I’ve made my claim. That’s all I ever had to do, a part of my mind notes wonderingly. This fragile heart I hold in my hands. Such an awesome responsibility, this. In a moment of utter clarity I realize the heavy burden he’s carried all this time. I now understand that I share it. This is so huge. It’s more than either of us.

“And I’m yours,” I tell him.

His growl sends chills racing up and down my spine. Finally, as if I’ve been waiting years for this, his lips find mine in passion. It’s a real kiss, not a tentative parking lot kiss of exploration: a kiss of affirmation, possession, that I return it in equal measure. His lips move down my neck, and I arch back to give him better access. This is good; this is much better. I feel the change in the air, like a static charge. And I think he might be about to allow himself to do something crazy…

XXX

Has it only been a few minutes since she walked in the door? It feels like hours. I’m kissing her, and I know I’m not gonna stop this time. Nothing in the universe could stop what’s happening between us now. I feel her pulse beneath my lips as I make love to her neck. I will not think. For the next few hours, the Mick St. John I’ve been these past 26 years will not exist. After that, I will either be damned or saved. I let myself go and imprint her even further on my senses; the feel of the blood moving beneath her skin, the taste of her, salty and sweet, the sounds she’s making that are driving me wild, the sight of her, eyes glazed with emotion that is all mine, the smell of her desire for me… I can’t decide which one is the most maddening. I want her. I need her. I have to have her. I must give everything I am to this woman, it’s the only way now.

I lift her easily into my arms, and hers go around my neck. She belongs with me on the beautiful carved oak canopy bed I’ve never used, on the blood red satin sheets. I’m already anticipating the feeling of the cool sheets on our sweaty, heated bodies.

She toes her shoes off on the way to the stairs; they drop with a thud onto the hardwood floor. She’s already pulled my shirt out of my pants, and I’ve got her blouse mostly unbuttoned. She throws back her head and laughs in pure delight, and it’s the most beautiful sound I’ve ever heard. If I had to live the undead, damned life for over fifty years just to hear that sound, it was all worth it.

I lay her down near the foot of the bed and kneel on the floor. She watches me with a look I’ll never be able to describe, but which raises the temperature in the room by twenty degrees. My hands caress the delicate lace of her bra for just a moment – before ripping it in half. Her eyes widen in passionate surprise, the heat in them blazes out at me. She licks her lips, and my eyes follow the trail greedily. I cup her breasts in my hands, rubbing the buds until they harden under my fingers. She arches up off the bed, so I move down to her pants, undoing them and tugging them down her legs to pool on the floor, underwear with them.

I’m torn. I want to let go completely and give her everything, but I want to go slow, gently make love to her. My hands shake as they trace her naked body, almost palsied with the tug of war going in inside me. Her breathing is deep and fast now, and I’m fascinated with the rise of her chest as she struggles to take in air.

“It’s not fair,” she cries, as I slide a finger inside of her, and she’s so wet I almost lose it right there. I struggle for control, and to my continued amazement I’m able to find some. “You’re still dressed,” she complains.

“You want to see me?” I ask her in a passion-rough voice. And really, she’s no vampire but the primal need in her eyes rivals my own. “I was going to…” I tease her, nodding my head toward where my finger has just been. “But if that’s what you want.”

I stand and begin undressing. The shirt I make quick work of, the jeans are so tight at this point they require a bit of extra effort. She smirks at me, and I love the self-satisfied look of it. Soon enough I’m standing there naked, letting her gaze her fill. A part of me knows I should be mindless with lust by now, but I find I enjoy turning her on so much I have acquired even more self restraint than I ever imagined I could have. The bigger the buildup, the sweeter the surrender.

Her legs move further apart and she starts to slide her hand down her body, but I anticipate her move and pounce, grabbing both hands and holding her arms pinned above her head. “Oh no, you don’t.” She struggles against me, on purpose I know by the mischief in her eyes. “That’s a mistake,” I tell her with a warning growl. Reveling in the freedom, partly a real warning, partly in exhilaration that I no longer have to hide anything from her. She does it again.

“Brat.”

“You gonna spank me,” she challenges.

“Not this time,” I tell her. She licks her lips again, and it reminds me of how long it’s been since I’ve tasted them. I sigh. There’s so much to do, and I know I’m not gonna have time to do it all. This time. My naked body is reacting to being pressed against hers. To her struggles against me, and her challenges. And every one of a million things my vampire senses tell me about her. I am overpowered, and outgunned. The only option is unconditional surrender.

When her legs wrap around my thighs, urging me on, I do exactly that. I slide inside her, hearing my groan of satisfaction in stereo as it matches hers. The moving is inevitable now, as unstopped as the waves crashing against the shore. It’s good now, it’s too good to last. But I find some hidden reserve one last time, because I realize there’s something I haven’t told her that needs to be said, and I stop moving inside her. She cries out at that, and stares at me in wordless plea. I manage to grab her face in my hands, holding her gaze with my own. And because this is _real_ love, and not just “one of the four F’s”, the eyes that gaze deeply into hers are a man’s eyes. Not a monster’s. “I love you. I’ve always loved you, and I always will.”

Her eyes lose their focus, and she clenches around me, crying out in release. Crying out my name. I’m one step behind her in hurling off the cliff, thrusting deeper, reaching that one perfect place. And as we lay there trying to catch our breath in the shattering aftermath, I’m still hard inside her. Useful side effect of vampire stamina. I start licking the sweat off her body, but that’s not enough. I will never get enough of her, so I start moving again.

“Oh god, there’s more?” she breathes, and her sounds now are whimpers wrenched out of her overloaded body.

This time I’m focused completely, and soon she matches my thrusts in the rhythm of our joining. I can feel it building… but I know this time I’m going to need more to get me over the edge. My mouth is on her neck, and I don’t even try to resist the temptation to bite down. And it’s so much better than the motel; this isn’t death, it’s life. I taste the sweetness of it, and it forces the release out of both of us. She screams my name this time. I cry out hers, over and over and over.

The world is quiet; we are finally lying in each other’s arms peacefully. I stroke her hair; trace her smile with my fingers, marveling in my discoveries. She’s not a little girl anymore. She’s a woman, a clear match for me…and maybe then some.

But she’s still mine.

Not something crazy, after all.

The end

1/6/08


End file.
